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Tuesday, March 31, 2009





aiming for the sky above;
*

~ { @ 11:44:00 PM }
© ® N.H.I.



-Peter Pan Syndrome-


aiming for the sky above;
*

~ { @ 12:16:00 AM }
© ® N.H.I.


Monday, March 30, 2009


it is really a calling?

but i'm sick of what i'm doing.


aiming for the sky above;
*

~ { @ 11:07:00 PM }
© ® N.H.I.


Sunday, March 29, 2009


Gift of Sight Trip 2009 (18 to 21st march)

First day of the trip. Feeling quite guilty u hasn’t been helping the GOS team as much. Was kind of sick, coughing, sore throat, don’t know whether have fever, feeling warm the whole time though. However, hoping everything will go on smoothly.

ms law came and sends us off. She help us in the coordinating of stuff.


Journey was rather smooth, but with some others having seasick.




Though seasick wasn't a very big problem. The only problem was to communicate with each and every one of them. I do not know many of the kids on GOS, but there were many SJ members which I was comfortable with. Slowly but surely, caring for them did make me know them better. Though the first impression of me to them is always 'I though you were very fierce', as usual.


Gathered them around the jetty in batam, Geraldine sprained her ankle while going to the bus that was bringing us to the hotel. First injury of the trip but everything was fine.


Left our luggage at the hotel then straight away was a clinic session at a secondary school.



Alright, came to the setting up of the clinics. Ok .none has any experience in this.
No plan layout was given. But I did try to get things done. Many people many hands, many brains. Too many giving ideas are a whole big mess. But we did solve it out.

Start of the clinic everyone excited and passionate. Time does wear off things. I’m rather sad that some people did complain to me saying they were tired and want to rest. Headache, etc. some I did think they are not real, its because they wanna rest tt's why they say they are sick
But, this point in time i rather believe then to try to find out the truth, better be safe then sorry. I hope that what i think is just pure guessing.

Complaining doesn't bring you anywhere. but its true tt leaders like mrs yeo , mr chua, do not complain

They solve problems. Miss them a lot when mentioned abt them. i haven’t had the honor to get to know them well yet.
I don’t understand malay, only know left right back front 1 2 3 4 5 in malay. tt's all i rmb, (from the commands I learn before =P)
I am pointing and making some funny actions to hope tt they understand. We completed like 117 pple in one day. omg i was so so happy. Thought some were having normal eye sight, we still need to check their eyesight.



they are so popular that the kids in the school ask them for number. LOL!

With everybody's help, we got through the whole day.
In the night, rachel came to ask for help in geo, asking regarding the differences urban and rural area. on the way to and back from the clinics, in the bus i was looking around, polluted rivers, housing on slums, transport usually bike, unstable narrow road,. Though i know there is a batam resort, with much better facilities, air con, beds, etc, but it’s all for tourists or for the richer people.

Passing by the roads, locals living in small little slums, with the most basic necessities, surrounded by rubbish, moving down the bus you can straightaway smell something. Within the same piece of land there are different treatments to people of different socio-economic status. Same humans with different status make huge differences. There can never be equality. Though every country tries to strive to that goal

Stop making assumptions. What you see and hear does not mean what is really going on. Unless you are told to do so, do not assume. It makes you an irresponsible person.

Day 2
food food food. Breakfast was so filling.


Our target today is a primary school. So many tiny puny people around. Haha. They were so adorable.


eunice sweeping. OMG! =P


This time round, clinic set up much faster, may be due to familiarity, lesser complains, more hardworking students may be due to the debrief last night.

Smaller class rooms, one door, tables and chairs. tt's all inside a classroom. ms violet said smth i cant agree more.

“should we feel fortunate for them that they have a school or to feel unfortunate because of having this kind of school?”
tables chairs , wooden, old, shaky. no air con no fans. I don’t even think there are lightings.
how do you study in this kind of environment.
how do you study in a warm stuffy small area?
how to focus in your work?


so many questions to be asked.

played the 'chicken and eagle' game. ms violet thought of it. haha.. i jus wanna play.

the kids in the school, after their spectacles check, curious eyes floats around, blocking the whole passageway. Ms violet really can think of this kind of stuff leh. cant believe we were playing it.



I was the eagle, like most of the time. I was able to catch them, their line was like so so long. I will always purposely run fast then slowly like going to catch them but didn’t catch. OH my, I tell you the moments I going to catch them; they will be like screaming and running at the same time. THEY ARE SO ADORABLE. But from this I know I’m old! Can’t play for long, a while tired, rest play again. I’m still young at heart.

It ends up quite an interesting game. These kids don’t always get visitors that plays with them like that. Just a gesture of kindness brings happiness, smiling, laughing, and screaming little kids.




If everyday they can feel this kind of simple happiness, won’t it be great?
With limited resources, this is, I think, the best we can give them.

While resting and others taking over the game, ms violet and I was perspiring like we came out of the bathroom forgot to bring a towel. i wiped it on ms chandran. Haha. Its that fun? ms violet joined me in hugging ms chandran.

Ended clinic session quite early. We are getting more united as the day goes by, much efficient than yesterday.



Debrief. last quite long. wasn't able to be there to listen to all of them saying their thoughts. many falll ill, dont feel well.

day 3
endurance

the older you are the lesser, the least likely u 'll complaint about things going on to yourself

Even if you are sick, not feeling well, don’t feel comfortable, you will always try keep it to yourself. No matter how bad it is, no matter how serious the problems were. You will always want to solve it by yourself, not wanting to worry or make pple sad.

this makes a leader a contradicting role.
shld you say or not say?
leaders must know how to take care of themselves but at the same time take care of others.
put others before self.
but...
no right or wrong. think abt it.

went to a church to set up clinic there.
Hadn’t do much. only taking care of other pple. many pple sick
not used to the food, weather was bad, not enough sleep.. many factors that can make pple sick.

some i don’t know whether they are really truly not feeling well. but i will not risk it.

jus took care of all, but pay less attention to those i think they aren't not feeling well (think my experience in first aid serves me well). those are selfish pple, they will know who they are, lets not mention names. Sleep all the way while others was downstairs working hard, trying to serve as many pple as possible. I cant believe 'he/she/they' still have the cheek to sleep. But still they have a long way to go. hope they learn true leadership in their few more years in HSS.

ended quite late. cos of the cert presentation. The whole church was so noisy. Every one person went up the “stage” we will start cheering clapping like no tomorrow.


After that we went to the orphanage quite late. half went on to the small bus to transport the donated items, the roads were too narrow that’s why we need to transfer bus. The others (including me) didn’t able to went, I was waiting patiently on the big bus, waiting for the small bus to arrive to bring us to the orphanage. Then, the big bus driver received a call saying to drive us to go back hotel because there is no time. I was not able to communicate well with the bus driver. He is a local, I wasn’t able to talk to him, I barely understood he was bringing us back to hotel. So I just went on saying ok.

i'm so so sad and disappointed to not able to go to the orphanage. Thinking back last year's trip to malacca was so fun. just playing around with the orphans was so fun and you can see true happiness in every kids’ faces. Able to give them joy, gives me joy as well. Tired but fulfilling.

Every thing you do seems like all worthwhile.

But now, unable to go is just such a pity.

Those that were in the big bus waiting, like me, most of them were like cheering. I find no idea why they were doing it.

Maybe just tired, they weren’t used to doing so much and some are like prince and princess at home. Now not only have to serve others, they haven’t had any time of enjoyment.

Kids in Singapore are really tooooooo pampered. A little heat and tiredness seems to be able to literary kill them. Haven’t been through hardships, can’t endure the little bit of tiredness. Neither have I, I’m glad and really fortunate to not have to go through hardship, I don’t know about hardship, but at least I cherish the peace and love I have around me.

Had quite a feast at the Golden Prawn Restaurant where all the ‘big shots’ came to close this event. Speeches after speeches. A bit bored, but some were quite meaningful. Then, the boys were like sabo-ing ms chandran and ms violet up to sing song. Haha. They did and pull up some of the kids too.



Went back hotel after some of the kids falling ill. Poor things. Hmm.. really can’t adapt well I guess and one were sick even before the start of the trip.

Day 4 is a city tour and shopping time. Thought it will be quite boring but turn out quite fun. I was too tired to have that thought la.

I can’t really shop, too many kids around totally no mood. We went to the ‘San Francisco’ of batam. The view from the bridge is NICE~








Then, we went on to the warehouse for the Ralph polo shirt. Its quite cheap la as compared. But, as I mentioned no mood for shopping.

Then we went to a temple, very big area. Just wanted to walk around. Not really a Buddhist, just a free thinker, who likes to explore religions. Went to churches, Chinese temples , mosques and so on, this is like one of the biggest temples I have ever seen.

There is like 3 buildings offering different Chinese gods. Walked till the last building, I have a sudden urge to pray. I took the joss sticks and lit it up. I don’t really know how, but I just imitate my mum (I do accompany her when she goes to the temples sometimes), and the people around me.

I speak in my heart, “please give my parents, grand parents, my family and friends, good health and happiness”

Just a sudden urge.
I'm not that kind that will pray or whatsoever. I'm quite a confident person i believe a lot in myself. But when you have done what you can, or there is already nothing you can do, or the pple are no where near you, the only thing you can do is pray. Now, i really understand why older generations pple will always want to pray.

Then went around a sux-to-the-core mall. Nothing much. Just bored. Then went back to Singapore!

I’m so glad I’m back.
Firstly, I’m back with my friends and family.
Second, Nobody smokes in air-con area.
Third, I can sleep like nobody’s business.
Forth, clean toilets, not as bad as the one in the rural area.
fifth, I can shit like nobody’s business. Haha!

My happy moments, I think only ner and ms violet will understand. Bleah =P Just regretted not having the time to go for their famous local massage. Omg. Sadded.


I LOVE GOS 2009!! Hahahaha..
Really hope to go for another humanitarian trip!!

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aiming for the sky above;
*

~ { @ 11:46:00 PM }
© ® N.H.I.


Saturday, March 28, 2009


dun want to be push with the responsibility. but i want to contribute.


aiming for the sky above;
*

~ { @ 11:15:00 PM }
© ® N.H.I.



Dear friends,

Please understand that I do have other commitments to fulfill. But I can ensure you guys are not forgotten. Every single one of you holds a special place deep down in my heart, I don’t speak about it doesn’t mean I don’t feel it. Every single word you say pierce me right through my heart. Reacting harshly back is the only thing I can do, with the additional tiredness and frustrations I already have in the other commitments. I am sorry if I somehow did hurt whomever with the msg.

I don’t expect you guys to understand my frustrations but I just need you guys’ shoulders to lend on when I needed.

The one that will always be there when you really need a shoulder to lend on.
Hwee Ing


aiming for the sky above;
*

~ { @ 10:47:00 PM }
© ® N.H.I.



tears is not a sign of weakness, but disappointment.

can someone really understands me?


aiming for the sky above;
*

~ { @ 10:12:00 PM }
© ® N.H.I.


Thursday, March 26, 2009


efforts that doesn't pay off?? i think i know the feeling now.

having GOS to recharge me, having more confident to teach kids under my care. but we cannot keep giving one day we will collapse. i dun mind giving to ppl who are willing to learn and having positive attiude.

now, i see none. even the one with the most patient, needs me to help extinguish her the blaze of fire.

give and take. it is how things work.

please give me strenght to overcome,


aiming for the sky above;
*

~ { @ 9:32:00 PM }
© ® N.H.I.


Wednesday, March 25, 2009


Hello~
Enjoy the pictures. The view in Batam.
Day 1








Day 2




























Day 4

























Labels: ,



aiming for the sky above;
*

~ { @ 11:30:00 PM }
© ® N.H.I.